I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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