Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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