i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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