i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
