Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize