Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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