I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
