Who did Billy Mays play for?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
