i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
