The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize