in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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