Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Are my feet made of real feet?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
