We're like a lot better than the average bears
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
