they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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