I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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