There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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