I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize