i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize