and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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