Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
