nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
