anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
