I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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