did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
