he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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