I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
