I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
