:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
