My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
