this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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