So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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