sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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