she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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