I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
