it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You are a genius and a whore.
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