Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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