i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
