This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
