Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
