I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize