you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
