"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
