she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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