well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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