At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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