you lied. pity sex is amazing.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize