I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
