we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
