I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so let's talk penis.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
