it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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