i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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