.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
