How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
