Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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