Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
