Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize