No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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