You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
