Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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