Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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