The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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