who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
