Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
