it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
