i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
