I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
