shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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