HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Sober January is a disaster.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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