That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
