Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize