speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
