I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
