And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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