You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
