dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
my poor anus
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize