youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
